Dear Readers: I Love You. Seriously - I can't believe you've hung in there, considering four of my last five posts were about bodily functions. (And I'm not talking hiccups and sneezes.) You. Are. Awesome. Or demented. But at least you're my kind of demented. So thanks!

To reward you, I will post about something OTHER than scat for once...

...

Because it's Easter weekend

There are two things I simply can't possess for more than three months: sunglasses and umbrellas. They either break or I lose them. Knowing that, I refuse to spend much money on them.

A few weeks back my office went bowling after work. It was a pretty posh bowling alley - the kind that has disco lights and velvet couches and is located next to a theatre so people can make an entire evening of it. As we were wrapping up and changing out of our shoes, I noticed a pair of sunglasses under the table.

"Hey - do these belong to anyone?" I asked. Apparently not. They weren't the greatest sunglasses, but they fit my head so I kept them. (I suppose I should've turned them into Lost & Found, but that didn't cross my mind since we were the first bowlers in there that day.)

Anyway. I was mildly jazzed to have picked up a pair of new sunglasses for free, considering I'm usually the one leaving mine places. Karma finally came around on this one!

It was sunny last night when I headed out to yoga, so I popped on the glasses before I headed out. And - like the other times I've worn them, I realized something weird was happening. Manhole covers were shimmery. (If I were a gamer, I might've tried to jump on one to see if they would explode and earn me points.)

Every fleck of stone in the asphalt seemed to pop out of the pavement. Cop lights in the distance seemed somehow more vivid.

And that's when I realized: the sunglasses? Actually 3-D glasses from the theatre next to the bowling alley.

That's right. I've been wearing 3-D glasses around as sunglasses.

Guess it's time for me to touch up those highlights.