Don't Forget the Joy

By MKR on November 26, 2024

By Megan Libby — Coordinator for Counseling and Student Services Brockton Hospital School of Nursing

It's that time of year again – a time when we are so busy trying to be joyful that we forget to feel joy.

According to the American Psychological Association, 35 percent of people report that their stress increases around the holidays. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that 64 percent of those who already live with mental illness experience worsening symptoms around the holidays.

Increased stress can lead to physical or mental illness. Do any of these stressors resonate with you?

an exhausted looking woman wearing green slacks and a holiday themed pullover sits on the floor next to an open pizza box while holiday decorations adorn a dining table behind her and lie scattered on the floor nearby.

Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me?

Sometimes being surrounded by others' joy can feel isolating. The pressure to feel joyful during the holidays can leave a person feeling worse.

Look for people who may feel the same as you and start new traditions.
Take some of the pressure off by recognizing that you are not alone in your feelings and not everyone expresses themselves the same way.
Avoid ignoring or numbing your emotions.
Avoid social media, where you may see "picture perfect" celebrations that are not based on reality.
Identify your triggers so you may avoid them.

I'd Rather Not Be Invited, Thanks.

Where the first problem might have stemmed from feeling left out, sometimes we can also feel forced into celebrations that do more harm to our psyche than good.

Prioritize your obligations. Become comfortable saying "no."
Expectations from others are not an obligation on your part.
Do something you enjoy -- even if it doesn't look like someone else's celebrations.
Communicate boundaries with your friends and family. Remember that you are the one in charge of you.

An African-American family dressed up for the holidays gathers around a kitchen island that has appetizers and drinks set out on it.

The Holidays Are Draining My Bank Account

Whether you are worried about buying gifts or buying food, the holidays bring a unique kind of stress where you find yourself being urged to spend more than ever.

Set a realistic budget for yourself. Remember, giving is not only about material items.
If you find yourself struggling, reach out to local groups for help. There are food drives, toy drives, and other resources available in your community.

All By Myself...

Some might struggle with too much family time, while others might feel isolated. Whether you are alone during the holidays by choice or not, you don't need to feel lonely.

Schedule time with your loved ones if you can. Perhaps a weekly dinner to catch up or a hike during the weekend will get you quality time, fresh air, and sunshine.
Send out holiday cards to let people know you are thinking of them.
By joining a group on Facebook, MeetUp, or finding a group through your local library, you can connect with others who have shared interests.

Some final words...

We often talk about self-care without defining what that truly looks like. Meditation, journaling, and even coloring can be great relaxation techniques. However, self-care is also about eating a balanced diet, exercising your body in some way, and sleeping well. When stress levels are high and your to-do list is never-ending, it can be easy to neglect yourself.

More Resources:

The Mayo Clinic has a video on this topic: