[New post] Hey Girl: That’s Not Pretty

pithypants posted: " If you're friends with me on Facebook, then I apologize in advance: You've already had to weather this rant. And yet, it is worth repeating. To make it somewhat more bearable, I'll try to channel Ryan Gosling. Indulge me. Hey Girl, I see you the" Respond to this post by replying above this line New post on pithypants Hey Girl: That’s Not Pretty by pithypants If you're friends with me on Facebook, then I apologize in advance: You've already had to weather this rant. And yet, it is worth repeating. To make it somewhat more bearable, I'll try to channel Ryan Gosling. Indulge me. Hey Girl, I see you there with your super-firm thighs. Thighs that say "thank you" for attending pilates throughout the week. Thighs that could make Gallagher cry because they can split watermelons like a cashew in a nutcracker. Those thighs? They got my attention. But not just because they're attractive. No. Girl, I know you're asking those thighs to do double-duty. That in addition to looking fine stacked up on a pair of Manolo Blahniks, they're punching the clock doing overtime. Know how I know? Because of that fine spray of pee all over the toilet seat in your office building's communal bathroom. That's right. I can picture you there, standing like crane ready for construction, feeling the burn as you unburden yourself.  And Girl, you must be exhausted from that effort. I mean, it is WORK to perch there like a hovercraft.  So no wonder you can't find the strength to grab a tissue and clean that toilet seat off. Honestly, how could you? I can't fault you for that. But Girl, think of all the other ladies whose thighs aren't as strong, who must sit on that toilet seat to relieve themselves. They end up sitting in a puddle of your pee. And I don't know if you've seen these women, but their reaction to that isn't one of loving kindness. No, Girl: It's fury. They make water cooler jokes about how they're going to stalk you and hug you and pee on your legs. And these women? They're a bit off-balance, so I'm concerned they might try. They've even gone so far as to use the office printer to make a note to hang in the bathroom, though they got distracted by a box of Girl Scout cookies before locating the tape to hang it. I'm telling you, they're one step away from psychotic. I'm concerned for you. But I don't want to weaken your resolve or your thighs. I'm not proposing something dramatic, like expecting you to - God forbid - wipe the toilet seat after yourself. No, Girl. You're too precious for that. I have a better plan: Girl, we gotta work on your aim. Kisses, Ryan pithypants | April 30, 2013 at 8:08 pm | Tags: Bathroom Humor, humor, ryan gosling, tips, work | Categories: Passive Aggressive, Work | URL: http://wp.me/pLpRI-1C0 Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://pithypants.com/2013/04/30/hey-girl-thats-not-pretty/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com

[New post] Worrying

Kate Rudy posted: "By: Rachel Ventura Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachel, and I worry. A lot. About everything. My Mom does, too. I've always said, "I'm a worrier. I get it from my Mom," like it's a genetic disorder I inherited from her. Maybe it is, who kno" Respond to this post by replying above this line New post on signaturemoms.wordpress.com Worrying by Kate Rudy By: Rachel Ventura Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachel, and I worry. A lot. About everything. My Mom does, too. I've always said, "I'm a worrier. I get it from my Mom," like it's a genetic disorder I inherited from her. Maybe it is, who knows? I've worried for as long as I can remember, but it has for sure gotten worse since having children. So one of the things I worry about often is my daughter becoming a teenager. I'm actually writing this blog post on my daughter's birthday. Her 3rd birthday. I know, I know. I have years before I really need to worry about this, 10 actually, but it worries me because I'm a worrier. I get it from my Mom. ☺ My pre-teen years were not fun. I didn't have many friends and I was teased, I was a late bloomer, and I just didn't seem to fit in anywhere. Middle school was a miserable 3 years for me. Then I went to high school and became a teenager, and I was not a good teenager. I made bad decisions, stayed out past my curfew, was influenced by my friends, lied to and was mean to my parents. Very, very mean. And for no reason! My parents and I are really close now and looking back at those teenage years makes me so sad! My Father will tell you that for 10 years, from the time I was 13 till I was 23, I basically never talked to him. Almost not a single word! And, I can remember having such a bad attitude towards my Mom (who is the sweetest woman you'll ever meet). I was horrible. My Mom tells me that it really wasn't as bad as I remember, but I think she's only saying that because I now have a daughter and she feels bad…she and I both know how much my daughter is already like me! Oh geez. Teenage years are rough- especially for girls. That's why I am not as worried about my son becoming a teenager. Sure, they have their own set of problems that I know I'm going to have to deal with and worry about. But my daughter worries me because girls are, for the most part, mean. And easily influenced. And just want to fit in. Sometimes, a lot of the time, this can lead to bad things. My daughter loves the Pinkalicious series by Victoria Kann. My heart seriously aches for the main character, Pinkalicious, while I read the story Purplicious. In the book, she is teased for liking the color pink and the girls at her school are just so mean!! Black is the new color and they won't be her friend if she doesn't like it as well. The story does have a happy ending, of course, as she finds a friend who likes the colors purple and pink, not just black like all the other girls. But it really got me thinking about the world we live in. I don't know the exact age, but I believe Pinkalicious and her friends are meant to be around 6 years old. And they already have "in" colors and popular girls?! Another favorite in our house is Wreck it Ralph and I so want to cry for Vanellope when the other racers push her in the mud and ruin her car. Does all of this really start this young? Sadly, I believe it does. Unfortunately, maybe my worrying so early is not all for naught. All these stories on the news about bullying truly breaks my heart. I sometimes wonder which would be worse, to have your child be bullied, or to be the bully? I really don't think anyone wants their child to be either. All I know is, I want my daughter to be happy and a good person. My son, too, of course. With the terrible two's and three's we have been going through lately, this has actually become our mantra, happy and nice, happy and nice. I find myself saying this to my daughter repeatedly throughout the day. But just saying it doesn't really do much. Figuring out how to make that happen is the tough part. There are some really great teenagers out there, I know this, and it truly gives me hope! My niece and nephew are just a few. My sister has really lucked out with amazing kids who are now 14 and 16. They have a wonderful relationship with each other and the rest of the family that I can only hope continues, and maybe rubs off on my own children! At the Mommy Blogger get together dinner, one of my fellow bloggers brought her 17 year old daughter along with her. I know that when I was 17, I wasn't caught anywhere with my parents unless I was absolutely forced to go. This young woman was happy to be spending time with her Mom. It was really so refreshing to see! I've received a lot of advice from Mothers who have teenagers and the consensus seems to be: Communication and understanding. Be a Mom first, friend second. Know their friends. These are really wonderful suggestions and I fully intend to follow them. But what worries me the most is that even if you do all these things, and are a "perfect" parent (even though this does not exist!), so many things can still go wrong! (In case you needed me to tell you, in addition to being a worrier, I'm also a bit of a pessimist) Kids (really, people in general) are influenced by so many things: the media, their peers, social media, and more. It seems like we are all doomed. My parents were, and are, great role models and as far as I can tell, made no major parenting mistakes while raising my siblings and me. Yet somehow I still ended up a juvenile delinquent, or at least a troublemaker with a real bad attitude. But all that being said, I am hopeful for my children and their generation. In addition to continuously repeating "happy and nice" all day long, here's my plan for the years leading up to those dreaded teenage hormones. Provide unconditional love and a safe environment, while also letting them explore and be independent. Teach them good manners and right from wrong. LET THEM HAVE FUN! Show them everyone is different, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Teach them to love and to give back whenever they can. This is all I can do and I hope it's enough. Until then, I will continue to worry, because that's what I do. But I'll also enjoy my children to the fullest- while they're still talking to me!! Kate Rudy | April 30, 2013 at 3:49 pm | Tags: brockton, brockton hospital, brockton hospital Signature Moms blog, Bullying, Family, hospital blog, hospital mommy blog, kids, massachusetts, mommy blog, Rachel Ventura, signature healthcare, signature mommy blog, signature moms, south shore mommy bloggers, Teenagers | Categories: Family, Mommy Advice, Parenting Advice, Rachel Ventura | URL: http://wp.me/s1eTHs-worrying Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://signaturemoms.com/2013/04/30/worrying/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com

[New post] Relax: easier said than done

pithypants posted: " It's been a stressful week. By Tuesday evening, I'd already clocked 30 hours of work... and if you count Sunday, which is theoretically a day off, the tally was closer to 36 hours. By the time Thursday afternoon rolled around, I was spent. On a whi" Respond to this post by replying above this line New post on pithypants Relax: easier said than done by pithypants It's been a stressful week. By Tuesday evening, I'd already clocked 30 hours of work... and if you count Sunday, which is theoretically a day off, the tally was closer to 36 hours. By the time Thursday afternoon rolled around, I was spent. On a whim, I picked up the phone and called to see if my massage place had any cancellations that evening - they did. So an hour later I found myself stripping down for a massage. Normally I get massages on the weekend, walking the five miles to the studio in yoga clothes. Thursday, however, my routine was totally thrown off since I was coming straight from work. When my masseur - a big, burly guy named Errol who contagiously giggled like a girl - left the room so I could change, I panicked. My outfit was COMPLICATED to remove, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to strip down before he came back to knock. For starters, I was wearing a collared button down shirt with half-pearl buttons, which are slippery and tough to work back through the holes. Knowing I was up against the clock only made me fumble more. Then came my socks. In and of themselves, they weren't that tricky. But I've started wearing fluorescent orange compression sleeves over them (don't ask) which are a feat to remove. I felt like I was in a race. I tried to reassure myself, knowing he'd knock to make sure I was ready before re-entering the room. But I've always found that exchange to be a bit like a conversation with an adult from Peanuts: I hear the knock and a muffled question, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say, "OK" or nothing. Whatever I choose, they seem to come in regardless, so I decided the knocking wasn't much of an insurance policy. Don't get me wrong - I'm actually not modest and wouldn't actually care if someone walked in on me naked. But it's awkward. Like when I was at the gynecologist a few weeks back and the nurse whipped in the room to see if I'd been given a gown - only to find me already bare-assed in the middle of the room, stepping out of my underwear. "Oh geez!" she said, clearly startled. "I'm so sorry!" See what I mean? She was going to see me naked only a few minutes later, so it wasn't my nudity that bothered her - it was that I wasn't where she expected me to be. It was as awkward as if she'd walked in and found me crouching on top of a filing cabinet. So that's what was going through my head as I changed for my massage. Must. Get. Under. The. Sheet. Fortunately, I made it. But in the process, I forgot to run my fingers between my toes. I always do that to make sure there's no random sock lint, because I think if I were a masseuse, I'd puke if I had to rub someone's feet and I encountered toe jam. Before I could remedy the situation, Errol reappeared. Crap. Whatever. Errol was awesome, and I'm not just saying that because he complimented me on having well-developed lats. Which, now that I think of it, might actually NOT have been a compliment. In any case, we'd established a chatty rapport, so when he got to my feet I said, "Hey, I'm sorry - I totally forgot to check for lint." He had only my right leg and foot exposed at that point, and he responded, "Please. Your feet are in great shape. You should see some of the dogs I have to walk. I just close my eyes and jump right in." "Careful," I cautioned, "You haven't seen the left one yet." And because this is how my brain works, I continued, "How awesome would it be if it was all snarled and I was missing toenails? You'd feel horrible." Apparently, Errol didn't share my sense of humor, because he was pretty quiet after that. Lesson learned: Never relax so much that you think strangers will appreciate your warped mind. It will just make them sit in silent judgment. Which - if you're getting a massage - actually turns out to be OK. Or maybe he'd seen this clip and thought he was on a hidden camera: pithypants | April 27, 2013 at 8:33 am | Tags: awkward, humor, massage, stress, warped | Categories: Addictions | URL: http://wp.me/pLpRI-1BQ Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://pithypants.com/2013/04/27/relax-easier-said-than-done/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com

[New post] Ahh, Interruptions

Kate Rudy posted: "By: Mary Morris I received an email from Loft retail stores the other morning.  It said "10 second style report" in the subject line, so I thought to myself, 'Hmmm, I can probably handle 10 seconds to look at some fashion.'  And when I say "handle it,"" Respond to this post by replying above this line New post on signaturemoms.wordpress.com Ahh, Interruptions by Kate Rudy By: Mary Morris I received an email from Loft retail stores the other morning.  It said "10 second style report" in the subject line, so I thought to myself, 'Hmmm, I can probably handle 10 seconds to look at some fashion.'  And when I say "handle it," I mean I can probably look at this email without interruption.  But, of course, I was wrong.  In a home with two children, there is bound to be interruptions.  But some days I feel I cannot get a simple task done without one.  Now it isn't always children that provide the distraction.  Sometimes it is the telephone and sometimes it is someone at the door.  Or, it can be a loud noise outdoors or a pile of papers on the hallway table that catch my eye as I am heading to the bedroom to get laundry.  Those papers distract me enough that I get in the bedroom and I think, "Now why am I here again?"  So I go back to the hallway papers and as I flip through I see that a paper that needs to be signed for my daughter's school and it is late.  Ugh.  Then I flip further and there is a bill on the verge of being late.  Not quite late, but it will be if I don't drop everything, write a check and hand deliver it to the post office immediately. So I open the "10 second" email and my son declares, "I am thirsty" and he is in the fridge pulling out a bottle of his desired beverage within less than 10 seconds.  I just glance at the pretty pastel colors they are advertising before I jump up and grab the heavy juice container before it lands on the floor and really creates a distraction.  It reminds me of the time I was talked into buying cranberry ginger ale for my daughter and as I opened the bottle, it exploded all over my white kitchen.  Both kids jumped up cheering and yelling, "That was cool!!  Do it again!"  Yes, that was a very cool mess! Anyway, I sit back down to look at the email and my son announces, "I am hungry."  Now bear in mind, he has eaten breakfast and it is too early for a snack.  I stop and say, "You will be having a snack in a while so play with your toys".  He is looking at me like he is about to start some long winded negotiation and I say, "Okay….goodbye."  I have now given up on the email and I am blogging this.  As I am typing this, he is saying "Goldfish" every 3 seconds or so.  Not as a complete thought, but as a subliminal message floating through the air. "Goldfish."  He is, of course, talking about Pepperidge Farm goldfish snacks.  I can almost anticipate the next interruption.  Will it be the phone ringing or will he have finished his drink and need a refill? Well, the point of this is there are many interruptions in everyone's life.  I guess it is how we manage them that really matters, right?  I never did get to look at that email which had pretty colors, spring fashion and jewelry.  Maybe one day soon I will pop into the store and look at them in person.  There is nothing like feeling all those textures, smelling the perfume and…what?  There is my own thought interruption.  That's right, I have no time for that.  I have a bill to pay, a permission slip to sign and a toilet to clean!  And that's what I need to do for the next few minutes…..until the next interruption!! Kate Rudy | April 25, 2013 at 10:07 am | Tags: brockton, brockton hospital, brockton hospital Signature Moms blog, Family, hospital blog, hospital mommy blog, kids, Mary Morris, massachusetts, mommy blog, signature healthcare, signature mommy blog, signature moms, south shore mommy bloggers | Categories: Family, Mary Morris, Mommy Advice | URL: http://wp.me/p1eTHs-Tk Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://signaturemoms.com/2013/04/25/ahh-interruptions/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com

[New post] Boston Marathon

Kate Rudy posted: "By: Sheila Gaudet I am not a marathoner.  These days, I'm not even a runner.  Several years ago I walked a half marathon for charity and that is the extent of my long distance career.  However, I spent middle school, high school and college on track te" Respond to this post by replying above this line New post on signaturemoms.wordpress.com Boston Marathon by Kate Rudy By: Sheila Gaudet I am not a marathoner.  These days, I'm not even a runner.  Several years ago I walked a half marathon for charity and that is the extent of my long distance career.  However, I spent middle school, high school and college on track teams and loved the concept of distance running, if not the reality. The Boston Marathon is magic.  I've had so many friends run Boston and I always follow their training and success with special pride because it is BOSTON. This year, my older son was scheduled to help volunteer at the marathon and I was thrilled that he would have a chance to experience it.  Unfortunately, transportation fell through so he wasn't there on Monday.  We have volunteered and participated in many shorter races, but I wanted him to understand the magic that is the Boston Marathon.  As a high school sophomore, I wanted him to see the dedication and persistence that is required of anyone who participates in the marathon and how varied the participants are.  The lesson of "never give up" is crucial at this age and stage. Instead, we've learned other lessons.  I called him upstairs as soon as I heard about the bombings and we watched news unfold together.  We watched the first responders, the race volunteers, the fellow runners and spectators rush in to help those who were wounded.  We saw the power of social media as people checked in with each other and passed along information.  We heard the anguish of those who were trying to find their loved ones and friends.  We knew how easily that could have been us on any given day. As a military family, we know too well the potential damage caused by explosive devices.  My husband, like so many of our military members, has witnessed it first hand, and though he rarely talks about it, it has an effect.  When it occurs in another part of the world it is easy to dismiss.  When it occurs in a place so familiar, so comfortable, so much "home," it has a different effect.  My heart goes out to all those affected from those who were directly injured, witnesses or those who just had their world shaken to its core. The best of Boston came out Monday and rippled throughout the country.  The Yankees even played Sweet Caroline in tribute echoed the support from the entire country.  The Boston Marathon will continue, I have no doubt.  I expect the competition for entries will only increase for next year and the crowds will be there to cheer, support and encourage not only the runners, but each other as a strike back against the cowards who attack the innocents. When I talk to my children about these events, I focus on the positive.  So many people stepped up to help.  No matter what evil happens in the world, the good people, often the "person next door," will step up to help. By acting as individuals helping each other, we will never lose. Kate Rudy | April 22, 2013 at 9:55 am | Tags: Be Strong Boston, Boston, Boston Marathon, brockton, brockton hospital, brockton hospital Signature Moms blog, hospital blog, hospital mommy blog, massachusetts, mommy blog, mommy blogger, sheila gaudet, Sheila Greene Gaudet, signature healthcare, signature mommy blog, signature moms, south shore mommy bloggers | Categories: Community Service, Sheila Gaudet | URL: http://wp.me/p1eTHs-Th Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://signaturemoms.com/2013/04/22/boston-marathon/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com

[New post] The Herring Are Running! The Herring Are Running!

Kate Rudy posted: "By: Martianne Stanger Every year around this time, my children and I enjoy a phenomenon that New Englanders have marveled at for centuries – the annual herring migration. When we see birds flocking to Oliver Mill Park off Route 44 in Middleboro, we " Respond to this post by replying above this line New post on signaturemoms.wordpress.com The Herring Are Running! The Herring Are Running! by Kate Rudy By: Martianne Stanger Every year around this time, my children and I enjoy a phenomenon that New Englanders have marveled at for centuries – the annual herring migration. When we see birds flocking to Oliver Mill Park off Route 44 in Middleboro, we know that the herring are running.  So, we make an impromptu stop to enjoy the annual spectacle there. Soon after that, we head over to the Wareham Street Herring Run across from the Middleboro DPW to witness teems of fish swarming up the ladder there.  The children squeal with delight as the silver fish fight their way up stream. Every year, we also enjoy a home school field trip to the Cape Cod Canal Herring Run, where Ranger Sam offers an awesome program, complete with educational chat, a walk along the run, a raucous herring predators tag game and, when we are lucky, an opportunity to get up close and personal with a live, a temporarily caught, herring. This year, I hear that the Canal Rangers are running a free program open to public similar to the Herring Run field trip we enjoy so much.  The event is this Saturday, April 27th, at 10 a.m. at the Herring Run Recreation Area Information Building at 830 Scenic Highway, Bournedale, MA.  I encourage you to go check it out. Or, if you'd rather see the herring elsewhere, check out the Guide to Viewing River Herring in Coastal Massachusetts to find a location near you where the herring are running now through May.   Kate Rudy | April 23, 2013 at 10:52 am | Tags: brockton hospital, brockton hospital Signature Moms blog, Cape Cod Canal Herring Run, Family, Family Activities, herring migration, hospital blog, hospital mommy blog, kids, Martianne Stanger, massachusetts, Middleboro DPW, mommy blog, mommy blogger, signature healthcare, signature mommy blog, signature moms, south shore mommy bloggers, Wareham Street Herring Run | Categories: Activities, Events, Martianne Stanger | URL: http://wp.me/p1eTHs-Ta Comment    See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions. Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://signaturemoms.com/2013/04/23/the-herring-are-running/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com